Sainsbury the Bear – Adventure One

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“Sainsbury the Bear were stories I wrote when my children were at primary school; if a child were good, they would get to take the class bear, Sainsbury, home for the weekend. I thought it would be nice if I could write some of Sainsbury’s adventures. Sainsbury the Bear & the Plundering Pirates was writen in 2010.”

Adventure One: Sainsbury and the Plundering Pirates!

He watched the clock’s second hand tick around.  Closer and closer it got to the twelve until with a pop the clock struck nine forty-five.

                ‘Odd,’ said Sainsbury, ‘clocks do not often make popping noises.’

And then something stranger still happened.  The aisle before him started to shake and shudder.  So hard did it jiggle that Sainsbury thought it amazing that none of the food fell from the shelves.  Suddenly the aisle split into two halves down its middle, each side parting to reveal an entirely new aisle!

                ‘How extraordinary!’ gasped Sainsbury.  He stared around but none of the people wandering through the supermarket seemed to have noticed.  Slowly and carefully, Sainsbury crept toward the new aisle.

                ‘Most curious,’ he muttered, looking up at the shelves for all of the items upon them seemed very old indeed.  Dust covered most of the packets and tins and spider webs stretched between boxes and bottles.

Then a voice made him jump.

                ‘Hello, Sainsbury.  I’ve been expecting you.’

                ‘Crispy cake crumbs!’ declared Sainsbury.  ‘Who are you?’

The wheezy voice belonged to an extremely old looking bear standing a little way from Sainsbury.  His fur was a bit matted and his stitches were loose around his shoulders, letting his stuffing protrude out.  He was wearing a pair of old dungarees and was holding a mop and bucket.

                ‘My name’s Fred.  Fred Bear,’ he said, pointing to his name badge.  ‘I’m the caretaker here.’

                ‘But I’ve never seen you before,’ said Sainsbury, confused.

                ‘That’s because you’ve never been here before.  Not in this aisle.’

                ‘What is this aisle and where did it come from?’ asked Sainsbury, once again looking up at all the curious shelf contents.

                ‘Why, you called it, Sainsbury.’

                ‘Did I?  How?’

                ‘When you arrived here at precisely nine forty-five, asking for  an adventure.  This is the Adventure Aisle!’

Sainsbury was at a loss for words.

                ‘Ad…adventure aisle?’ he said with a tingle of excitement.

                ‘Yes,’ said Fred.  ‘Are you ready for your adventure now?’

                ‘What, right now?’ said Sainsbury, becoming suddenly alarmed at the thought.  After all, just a few moments ago he was quietly shopping for cakes.

                ‘Well, when one comes to the Adventure Aisle, it usually means you are looking to have one.  So, choose an item from the shelf and drop it into your trolley and you will be off on your adventure!’

                ‘But…but…’ stammered Sainsbury, ‘how do I get back?’

                ‘Don’t worry,’ said Fred gently.  ‘When your adventure is over, you will be whisked right back again.’

                ‘Oooh, I’m not sure,’ said Sainsbury, looking worried, ‘I’m not that brave, you know.’

Fred looked down at Sainsbury with his old, amber eyes.

                ‘Oh, I don’t know, Sainsbury.  I think you are much braver than you think.  Go on, make your choice.’

Sainsbury glanced up at the nearest shelf.

                ‘Haven’t you got any sticky buns?’ he asked hopefully.

                ‘Choose, Sainsbury,’ said Fred.

Sainsbury’s eyes settled upon a tin of sardines; not quite what he had in mind.

                ‘I really don’t-’

                ‘Sainsbury.’

                ‘Yes?’

                ‘Just take the tin.’

                ‘Ok,’ mumbled Sainsbury and he reached up and grabbed the sardines.

The instant that he dropped it in, the trolley seemed to take on a life of its own.  Springing backward, it knocked the surprised Sainsbury off of his furry feet, pitching him inside next to his tin of sardines.  The shelves before the trolley then parted magically as if they had never actually been shelves, but curtains covering a secret, glowing tunnel.  Sainsbury’s eyes grew wide as the trolley began to enter it.

                ‘Now remember, Sainsbury,’ said Fred, his voice starting to sound far away, ‘don’t get up to mischief.  Oh, and keep your arms in the trolley at all times – it’s health and safety.  Goodbye!’

With that, Fred and the supermarket were gone and Sainsbury was shooting down the colourful tunnel in the trolley.

Sainsbury felt the warmth of sun on his face and a gentle wind in his fur.  Oh, how pleasant, he thought, keeping his eyes closed and having a little groan of happiness.  I could stay here for-

                ‘Get up, ya’ filthy landlubber or I’ll ‘av ‘ya hoisted up the main brace!’

                Sainsbury’s sleep vanished quicker than a schoolchild at home-time.

                ‘Where?  Who?  Why?  What’s a main brace?’ said Sainsbury, completely confused.

                ‘I dunno and I don’t care,’ said a fearsome pirate, looming over Sainsbury, his long platted beard jiggling just inches from the bear’s face, ‘but you’re quite clearly a bear, an’ I don’t av’ bears on me boat.  So it’s along the plank for yeh’!’

There was a cheer as a boat-load of shifty and troublesome-looking pirates heard their captains cry.

                ‘Along the plank?’ said Sainsbury as the pirate captain hauled him to his feet.  ‘What’s on the other side?’

Another laugh sprang up around the pirate boat, even louder this time.  One pirate laughed so much that, clutching his sides in hysterics, he slipped from the crow’s nest and was only saved when his pirate belt caught on a rope.

                ‘Oooh,’ he cried, ‘I is caught on the main brace!’

                ‘Arrrrrr,’ said the pirate captain, ‘so that’s the main brace.  Boys, take the bear to the plank!’

Sainsbury was then picked up under each arm and marched to the side of the pirate ship.

                ‘Just ya’ stay put whilst we get the plank!’ said a skinny pirate with a necklace made of sharks teeth.  Poor old Sainsbury was too scared to move an inch.

                ‘Psst,’ came a voice.

Sainsbury looked around but nobody seemed to be looking at him.

                ‘Psssssst,’ came the voice again.  ‘Over here.’

Sainsbury looked to his left and saw a young boy scrubbing the deck.  He looked tired and dirty and his knees were red from all the kneeling.  It occurred to Sainsbury that he didn’t look much like a pirate.  The boy scrubbed his way close to Sainsbury.

                ‘My name’s Elliot,’ whispered the boy.  ‘I’ve been captured by Captain Savage the pirate and made to clean his boat.’

                ‘My name’s Sainsbury and that’s terrible!’ said the bear.

                ‘Captain Savage and his band of pirates are horrible,’ said Elliot, ‘they steal everything they can find.  I even heard they stole someone’s fish with a funny nose and are going to eat it for their tea!  But that’s not the worst of it: they are on their way to my island to steal all our things for their treasure!’

                ‘Oh dear,’ gasped Sainsbury, his furry little paw over his mouth.

Suddenly there was a clunk, clunk, clunk and Elliot scampered away.  Sainsbury looked around to see Captain Savage totter his way toward them on not one, but two peg legs.  The pirate captain saw Sainsbury stare and laughed noisily.

                ‘Arrrrr, like ‘em do yeh?  Most pirate captains ‘av one peg leg, but Captain Savage doesn’t do things by arrrrrrf!’

                ‘You mustn’t rob that island!’ said Sainsbury, without thinking.  ‘It’s wrong!’

Again the boat filled with the sound of laughter.  Captain Savage was chortling so much he had trouble staying upright on his peg-legs.

                ‘Ok, yeh right,’ said the captain, rubbing his long beard thoughtfully.  ‘Maybe we should just turn around and go away.’

                ‘Really?’ said Sainsbury in surprise.  There was a moments silence and then laughter filled the boat once again.

                ‘No, you silly creature!  This is an easy one, I’ve planned ahead, see?  Old Bony Bill has set up a bring-and-buy sale up on the far side ‘o the island; everyone will take their old rubbish and leave their ‘ouses empty ‘wiv all the good stuff!  Easy pickings!  Start up the plundering song, lads, we’re nearly there!  A plunderin’ we will go, a plunderin’ we will go, e-i-adeo, a plunderin’ we will go…’

As all the pirates sang a rather tuneless rendition of the plundering song, the plank was put out and Sainsbury was pushed onto it.

                ‘No, you can’t do this!’ he cried, but Captain Savage seemed to think he could.

                ‘Oh, but I can, little bear,’ he laughed.

                ‘You can’t make me,’ said Sainsbury, ‘I’ll stand on this plank until you let me back in!’

                ‘What plank?’ replied Captain Savage.  Sainsbury looked down to see that the plank had been pulled back in without him.

                ‘Ooooh!’ he cried and then hit the water with a SPLASH!

                ‘Bye bye little bear,’ came Captain Savage’s voice, ‘I hope you can swim!’

Sainsbury was glad that he had been taken to all those swimming lessons, but with the pirate boat becoming small on the horizon, he was tired from staying afloat.  He felt so sorry for himself that he thought he would have a little cry.  But then someone beat him to it.

                ‘Sniff, sniff.  Boo hoo.’

Sainsbury looked all around to see where the noise was coming from.

                ‘Oh, where is he?’ came a sad voice, it sounded like a little girl.  Then Sainsbury saw a pretty but sad face poke up from the water.

                ‘Hello?’ said Sainsbury.  The little girl stopped sniffing, stared at Sainsbury and then gave a small smile.  There was a splash and Sainsbury saw a beautiful tail like a fish’s lift from the water and suddenly the girl was by his side.

                ‘Have you seen him?’ she said, her face full of hope.

                ‘Seen who?’ Sainsbury asked.

                ‘My pet?’

                ‘What does your pet look like?’ he asked.

                ‘He’s a fish with a funny nose.’

                ‘I’ve not seen any pets I am afraid,’ said Sainsbury and he felt awfully sad for the girl.

                ‘Oh, Seasaw!’ she cried.  ‘Where are you?’

Sainsbury looked at the girl bobbing up and down in the water and was curious.

                ‘I don’t mean to be rude,’ he said, ‘but are you a mermaid?’

The girl nodded sadly, her dark, wet hair hanging limply around her shoulders.  Sainsbury was amazed at seeing his first mermaid, but felt too sorry for her to ask her all the questions that were bursting to come out.

                ‘Wait!’ he said suddenly.  ‘A fish with a funny nose?’

                ‘Yes, yes!’ cried the girl.

                ‘I know where it is!  Captain Savage has it on his pirate boat!’

The mermaid’s eyes grew as round as dinner plates; she looked happy but soon became sad again.

                ‘Oh, but if he’s on that boat, I’ll never be able to rescue him,’ she said, beginning to sniff back tears again.

                ‘I will help you!’ cried Sainsbury.

                ‘W…would you?’ said the Mermaid.  ‘Really?’

                ‘Of course!’ replied Sainsbury.  ‘Besides, I need to try and stop Captain Savage and his pirate crew before they rob Elliot’s island.  We haven’t much time!’

                ‘Grab on then,’ said the mermaid, turning around to allow Sainsbury to put his arms around her neck.  ‘Hold tight!’ she cried and then they sped off through the water like a dolphin, Sainsbury laughing out loud at the fun of it.

By the time they reached the pirate boat, Elliot’s island was just a short distance away.

                ‘Oh, we’ve got to hurry,’ said Sainsbury as they swam carefully behind the boat.  ‘How will I get back in?’

                ‘I’ve thought of that,’ said the mermaid.  ‘I will flick you up with my tail.  Are you ready?’

Sainsbury was not sure that he was, but nodded anyway.

                ‘Good luck, little bear!’ said the mermaid and then Sainsbury felt himself flying through the air toward the back of the boat.  Grabbing hold of a rope, he swung himself in through an open window and into a dark, deserted room.  With a quick wave to the mermaid, Sainsbury crept further into the room.  Luck was on his side, for this was the pirates’ bedroom and on the end of the nearest bed was a uniform laid out ready for wearing.  It was extremely small and would fit Sainsbury more or less perfectly.  He looked at the name badge on the collar.

                ‘I hope you don’t mind me borrowing this, Pygmy Pete,’ he said and slipped the pirate clothes on.

In his new disguise, Sainsbury left the bedroom and found a set of steps going downward.

                ‘Hello, Pete,’ growled a pirate who passed him on the stairs.

                 ‘Erm…Avarst…er…matey,’ said Sainsbury trying not to sound scared and he hastened down the steps with his legs shaking.  When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he found himself in a large area lit by candles.  There were lots of treasure chests stacked from floor to ceiling, many half open with bright, shiny jewels and chains of gold hanging out.  Sainsbury stared in wonder.

                ‘Sainsbury!  What are you doing here?’

Sainsbury looked up and saw Elliot scrubbing one of the many cannons that were on a large shelf halfway up the wall.

                ‘Elliot!’ he cried.

                ‘I thought you were gone forever,’ said Elliot, scampering down a ladder for a hug.

                ‘You don’t get rid of me that easily,’ said Sainsbury.  ‘I’m here to try and save Seasaw and stop your island being burgled.’

                ‘Seasaw?’ said Elliot.

                ‘Yes, the fish with the funny nose – I’ve found his owner and she’s a mermaid!’

                ‘Over here,’ said Elliot, and he led Sainsbury to a tank of water that was far too small to hold the poor fish within.  Sainsbury looked at the fish as it tried to swim around the tank but it kept bumping its saw-like nose against the side.

                ‘Don’t worry, Seasaw,’ said Sainsbury, we’ll save you.’

                ‘But how?’ said Elliot.  ‘Soon Captain Savage and his pirates will be at my island and nobody knows they’re coming!’

                ‘Humm,’ said Sainsbury, rubbing his furry chin.  Looking up, his eyes fell across the cannons, which were tied to the wall with rope to stop them falling backwards off the shelf.  ‘I’ve an idea!’ he declared.  ‘We need to untie one of the cannons.

                ‘But the knots are done up too tight,’ said Elliot, confused.  Sainsbury rubbed his chin a little longer and then his eyes twinkled.

                ‘Can I borrow you, Seasaw?’ he asked, turning to the fish with the saw-nose.  Seasaw flipped with eagerness.

Clambering up the ladder with Seasaw under his arm, Sainsbury then used the fish’s nose to cut the cannon’s safety rope.

                ‘Right, Elliot,’ said Sainsbury, ‘do you know how to use a cannon?’

                ‘I’ve seen them do it once,’ said Elliot.  ‘You just light the fuse on top.’

Sainsbury asked Elliot to climb up next to him with one of the candles from the wall.

                ‘Stand well back, Elliot,’ he said and he lit the fuse.

They hurried out of the way and placed their hands over their ears.

BANG!

The cannon fired a cannonball out of the porthole in the wall with a deafening noise and then began to roll backwards.

                ‘They’ll have heard that on the island!’ exclaimed Elliot.

                ‘Now for the pirates,’ said Sainsbury, and he watched as the cannon teetered on the edge of the platform before falling backwards over the edge.

Crash!

As  Sainsbury had planned, the heavy cannon had crashed straight through the bottom of the pirate boat and it was starting to sink.  A head appeared through a hatch in the roof.

                ‘Arrrrrr, shiver me timbers!’ said Captain Savage.  ‘Me bloomin’ ship’s sinkin’!  Abandon ship!  Abandon ship!’

Elliot beamed at Sainsbury and Seasaw wagged his fins in pleasure.

                ‘Come on,’ said the bear, ‘jump out of the porthole!’

Without hesitation, they all jumped out into the water, where the mermaid was waiting to give them a ride back to the island.  As they went, Seasaw jumped and frolicked in the water happily, occasionally nipping the toes of an angry pirate as he went.

                ‘How can we ever repay you, Sainsbury?’ said Elliot as they stood on the beach.

                ‘Or us?’ said the mermaid as Seasaw jumped summersaults in the waves.

                ‘You don’t have to!’ said Sainsbury, smiling.  ‘It was fun!’

                ‘Well we think that you were very brave, Sainsbury!’ said the mermaid.  Sainsbury blushed beneath his fur.

                ‘Thank you!’

Then there was a popping noise and a glowing, colourful tunnel appeared along with a supermarket trolley.

                ‘Besides,’ he continued, ‘it’s time for me to go!  Goodbye everyone!’

                ‘Goodbye, Sainsbury!’ Elliot and the mermaid called.  Sainsbury climbed back into the trolley and with a whoosh and a wave, he sped off into the tunnel.

                ‘Well, Sainsbury,’ said Fred Bear once he had arrived back in the supermarket.  ‘Did you have a good adventure?’

                ‘Oh, the best!’ said Sainsbury.

                ‘Jolly good,’ said Fred.  ‘So you’ll be back again soon, I trust?’

                ‘Yes!’ declared Sainsbury.  ‘Although…’

                ‘Although what, Sainsbury?’

                ‘Although I think that I will need a sticky bun and a nice cup of tea first!’

                ‘Aisle three, Sainsbury, next to the bread.  I can personally recommend the cherry ones.  See you soon.’

                ‘Bye, Fred!’

And with that, Sainsbury skipped off back to school, eat his bun and drank plenty of tea, as you would expect from a little bear that had just had such a big adventure!

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